


here to stay

by johnnys, jxshujiwxnu



Category: GOT7
Genre: Coming of Age, M/M, Secret Relationship, bambam is barely there but okay, bambam is literally asian, jaebeom is flirty, we almost called this the exchange student, yugyeom is gay panicking, yugyeoms family is marks host fam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:07:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25038967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnys/pseuds/johnnys, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxshujiwxnu/pseuds/jxshujiwxnu
Summary: in yugyeom's opinion, the exchange program was dumb. and the exchange student living on the other side of his bedroom wall was even dumber for signing up for it.(the unfamiliar butterflies in his stomach had nothing to do with his dislike for mark tuan.)
Relationships: Kim Yugyeom/Mark Tuan
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	1. california boy

it was raining on the way to the airport. 

he hadn’t even met the exchange student yet, but yugyeom figured the rain must be a sign. the american kid was definitely bad news, and kim yugyeom didn’t want anything to do with him. maybe he would see all the rain and cloudy skies and get back on the plane to sunny california — or wherever the hell he came from. yugyeom liked that idea. maybe the world  _ was  _ on his side after all.

“yugyeom,” said his mother from the passenger seat, her voice taking on a warning tone.

“what?” yugyeom answered bluntly. he was leaning against the window, watching the raindrops trickle down the glass with a sullen expression. it was obvious what his mother would tell him, judging from the way she spoke. she always sounded like that when she was about to scold him.

“you’d better put on a smile when we get there,” she said sternly. “i don’t want you to make him feel unwelcome here.”

if making the exchange student feel unwelcome would send him back to america, yugyeom would probably put on his best death glare instead. he rolled his eyes and muttered something that neither of his parents could make out if they tried.

“i’m sure you’ll both get along,” said his father, eyes fixed on the road ahead of them. 

yugyeom scoffed.

“what? you will,” his dad assured him confidently. “apparently he likes music, sports, and korean food. you’ll have plenty in common.”

“everyone likes korean food, dad.”

“yeah? well, that’s great. you already have something to talk about.” his dad met his eyes in the rearview mirror and nodded, making yugyeom sigh.

“i’m not speaking english to him,” yugyeom said, turning his head to look back out of the window again. if possible, he wouldn’t speak to him at all. but embarrassing himself in english was something that was never going to happen. just the thought of the american boy laughing at his pronunciation was enough to make yugyeom shudder.

his mother echoed his sigh, busy sorting through the exchange student papers. “you won’t have to,” she told him. “the school said he can speak some korean.”

“great.”

“yugyeom,” his mom said again, more firmly this time. she turned around in her seat to fix her son with a serious look. “listen to me, please. i’m not asking you to be his friend, but it would be nice if you could just make him feel welcome, and help him out when he needs it. okay?”

“but—”

“no, i’m not listening to you complain anymore,” she interrupted him, facing the front again and refusing to look at him. “i’ve heard enough of it back in the house. you’re going to treat him nicely, and that’s final.”

yugyeom let out a frustrated groan. 

the rain didn’t let up at all, even when they finally pulled into the short-stay parking at the airport. they had to meet the exchange kid in arrivals and, provided the plane had no delays, they should be there right on time to greet him. yugyeom wanted to stay in the car but his parents dragged him outside in the rain and practically marched him up to the airport entrance. he pulled up his hood and sulked.

he was going to meet the american boy looking like a complete mess, angry and rain-drenched, but of course none of that mattered because he was going to hate him anyway.

☂

the plane was about to land, he assumed — that or they were about to have a fatal crash and he would die on his way to korea. the announcement lady spoke in such quick korean that he couldn’t really catch up, but he still thought they would probably arrive anytime soon. 

it had been a thirteen hour flight and mark hadn’t been able to get any sleep, which was probably the reason for his terrible sense of humour. but he was still overly excited to meet his host family and see seoul with his own eyes, breath in the air with his own lungs and walk around the streets on his own two legs. 

his eyes fell shut now and then, the words in the book in his hands becoming blurred the longer he looked at them. he couldn’t just fall asleep now that he was almost there. mark closed the textbook he had been studying with, trying his best to avoid being all lost and overwhelmed when someone would talk to him. he was doing quite well though, yet again he always felt like it wasn’t good enough. he could do better and an exchange to korea seemed to be the best way to improve. 

it wasn’t long after that the plane really arrived at the airport. mark was more than happy to finally be freed from the warm seat and the sweaty man next to him. it took him a good forty minutes to get out and pick up his suitcase.

the first thing that caught his eyes as he left the terminal was the huge sign with his name written all over it, big navy blue letters on the paper spelling out  _ MARK _ . he had assumed they’d write it in korean, and had written down all the ways to put his name to be prepared. but there they were, a tiny looking woman holding the sign up, with two taller males next to her. 

a small smile appeared on mark’s lips as he passed through the crowd, his suitcase tightly in his grasp. “you must be the kims,” the blonde male said in his accented korean, bowing a bit, i’m mark tuan, it’s nice to meet you.” 

the woman laughed a bit, helping the only slightly taller male stand up straight again. “there is no need to be all formal, mark,” she said, “we’re very happy to meet you too and pleased that you’ll be staying with us.” 

mark could only smile a bit, eyeing up and down all three of the figures in front of him. the woman was small and her hair dark brown and tied up into a bun, her chin covered in the black fabric of her face mask. her husband was as tall as her son, both almost a whole head taller than he was. the boy wore a bored gaze on his face, a smug grin on his lips when he heard mark talk. 

“this is our son, yugyeom, he’ll be taking good care of you,” she continued, “making sure you have a pleasurable stay.” 

mark already knew that he would love his host mother. he wasn’t sure if he felt the same way about her son — the black haired male next to her. he obviously didn’t want to be there, with the way his face was so deep in his hood, pulling his mask further up to hide his nose and mouth. 

mark again bowed a bit, giving the boy a smile despite given reasons to kick his leg. “it’s nice to meet you too, yugyeom. i hope we can become friends.” 

the boy he’d addressed laughed a bit, rolling his eyes. “thought you said he speaks korean, sounds like he just memorised the basics—” 

“yugyeom,” his mother interrupted, only earning a chuckle from mark. “it’s okay, he must be very good at languages, right — speaking english fluently and accent-free?” 

yugyeom rolled his eyes, leaning against the wall. “yeah, whatever, can we head home now?” he didn’t wait for an answer, just started towards the exit. 

mark’s fingers fastened again around the suitcase as he wanted to follow the family, but yugyeom’s father stepped a bit closer, took the suitcase from his hand before heading back to his wife then. 

“you have to excuse our son,” she said when mark caught up, “he is a bit awkward with new people. i really believe you guys can get along well.” 

a slight smile touched the american boy’s lips. “we’ll figure it out.” 

his eyes found the tall figure again, watching his every motion, how his hands were buried deep in the pockets of his pants, probably fidgeting with something because the fabric wouldn't stop moving. mark saw how he would brush his wet strands of hair off his face and he would hear low rambles even though many words sounded unfamiliar. 

when they left the airport, mark was sat in the back seat, his suitcase neatly hidden in the trunk. the boy next to him had his headphones plugged in, not listening to anything happening in the car. the adults in the front seats kept talking about work and the latest gossip, that’s at least what mark could catch. but his mind was too clouded with the sleep deprivation anyways, the urgent need to slumber just for a few hours, minutes even. just relaxing for a bit, no matter how bright and exciting the city around him seemed to be, no matter how much he wanted to not miss a thing. 

his head fell slightly against the window, his eyelids becoming unbearably heavy. “ _just until we arrive home_ ,” he thought, “ _just for a few minutes_.” 

and he knew yugyeom would be nagging about him falling asleep but mark couldn’t care less at that point. 

☂

yugyeom was right. he  _ did  _ hate the exchange student, and nothing about his cheerful manner would ever change his mind.

mark tuan was the most irritating person he’d ever met. how could someone be so bright and friendly in a foreign country, meeting strangers for the first time after an unbearably long flight? it must be fake, yugyeom decided. no one could smile that much, or make a terrible korean accent sound… cute. 

he stayed silent for the entire ride home, headphones clamped over his ears as he continued to sulk. it was unfair, really, how his parents had taken such a quick liking to mark when he hadn’t even done anything to deserve it. the american boy was short, yugyeom observed by sneaking glances across the back seat, with a slim frame and delicate features. his hair was a soft blonde but his roots were clearly growing in, and he wore colours like baby blue and pastel pink, and white denim. the school couldn’t have picked a student  _ more different _ to yugyeom than the one that was moving into his house.

“alright, here we are,” said his father as they pulled up outside the house. 

mark barely moved, except to shift in his sleep. yugyeom scoffed. for some reason mark’s overwhelming tiredness made yugyeom pity him, even to the extent of wanting to make sure he got to a real bed for a proper night’s sleep. it was stupid, because yugyeom had already convinced himself that mark was an invader in his house, and he shouldn’t feel sorry for him at all.

“yugyeom?” his mother asked, unfastening her seatbelt and grabbing her handbag. her son didn’t respond, but she gave him the next instruction anyway. “show mark to his room, won’t you?” 

yugyeom opened his mouth to object. “ _ mom _ , come on—”

“and show him where the bathroom is, and where he can get breakfast in the morning, and—” his mother cut herself short, shaking her head with a small smile. “in fact, you’d better just give him the house tour.”

“but—”

“you can manage that, can’t you?”

yugyeom let out a loud groan — which is probably what woke mark up moments later. “mom, i’m busy,” he said through clenched teeth.

his mother proceeded to ignore his objections. she stepped out of the car and shut the door, and then positively beamed at her son through the slightly darkened windows. when he visibly scowled, she gave him an encouraging (but somewhat patronising) thumbs-up.

yugyeom sulked. but despite his complaints, he figured that the sooner he showed mark around, the sooner he could go back to ignoring him completely. 

“hey, wake up,” he said, nudging the smaller boy’s arm. even though he said it in korean, it didn’t take a translator for mark to get the message. 

mark rubbed his eyes and yawned, and for a split second yugyeom’s brain did a one-eighty —  _ why was that somehow cute? _ yugyeom frowned, and forced himself not to think about fixing the messy bleached hair that now fell across mark’s forehead. 

“we’re here,” yugyeom said bluntly. “i’m gonna show you around and then you can leave me alone, okay?” he fixed mark with a fake smile, knowing that he was speaking too quickly for the foreigner to understand. 

mark smiled back a little cluelessly.

yugyeom sighed. he got out of the car on his side, hood slipping off his head in the sudden wind, and opened mark’s door for him. “ _ my house _ ,” he said in rather accented english, almost putting a full-stop after each word. “follow me,” he added in korean.

mark stared up at the house, running a hand through his hair. the house was smaller than he expected — two storeys but narrow, squeezed into the street between its neighbours. it had a flat roof and square windows, and there wasn’t any parking outside so yugyeom’s dad would have to move the car after dropping them at the front door. despite that, it was obvious yugyeom’s mom took care of the place well. there was a hanging basket of flowers by the entrance, and a well-maintained bike sitting by the downstairs window. 

“hey,” yugyeom said again, getting impatient. “ _ follow _ ,” he emphasised, gesturing towards the house so that mark would get the hint.

he led the way inside, subconsciously paranoid that mark would think he was poor. it’s not like they were living in poverty or anything, but yugyeom had noticed the way mark dressed. it was like he was out of a vogue catalogue, or something. maybe he had expensive taste, and he would look down his nose at the kims’ humble abode. 

“is that your bike?” mark asked on their way into the house, pointing at the blue and green bicycle beneath the window.

yugyeom stopped and stared at him. what did that mean? was he laughing at him because he didn’t have a fancy car, or a motorbike? “yeah,” he said after a while.

mark laughed, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. “that’s fun,” he said.

slightly confused, yugyeom just continued into the house. he pointed out where the kitchen and living space was, and the downstairs bathroom near the front door, and then started up the stairs to drop mark off at his room (so he could forget he even exists for a while). mark asked too many questions about trivial things, like the stories behind random photographs displayed on the wall, and what yugyeom usually ate for breakfast. it was weird, and so yugyeom only gave one-word answers. 

“this is your room,” he said when they reached the door of the tiny spare room. they’d cleared it out for mark to use, which meant that the stuff yugyeom had been storing in there was all back cluttering up his room. “come down later for dinner.”

and with that, he left mark alone. job done.

they ordered in fried chicken and pizza for dinner, as a welcome meal for mark. yugyeom couldn't complain about that. but afterwards, when he went to go and brush his teeth before going to bed, he ran into his first real problem.

"oh, sorry."

he had a hand on the bathroom door handle, but somehow mark was there first, standing there with his toothbrush and towel. yugyeom reluctantly met the shorter boy's gaze. what was this — some kind of staring competition? neither of them seemed willing to back down and offer to use the bathroom second.

"are you brushing your teeth?" mark asked after a careful bit of thinking (and translating in his head).

well, yes. yugyeom _would_ be brushing his teeth, but theoretically they could both brush their teeth at the same time and that was  _ not _ happening.

"i need to pee," he said instead, and for some reason the way he said it brought a slight smile to mark's lips.

"you go first then," mark said. he nodded and gestured towards the bathroom door.

"i—" yugyeom swallowed. why did this feel like he was losing, even though he was technically winning? "no," he said stubbornly, "you go."

mark narrowed his eyes, throwing a quizzical look up at the taller boy. "but i thought…" he started mumbling in english, confused. "i'll go second," he added more firmly.

"fine."

"...fine?"

that was the end of the bathroom confrontation. but as yugyeom lay awake that night, he couldn't stop thinking about the american boy on the other side of his bedroom wall, and his cute accent—  _ annoying voice _ . 

his irritation with mark was already turning into an obsession, and there was nothing yugyeom could do to slow it down.


	2. american invasion

the morning after was calmer. yugyeom hadn't acted up any further, so breakfast wasn't all too bad either. 

there was still an awkward sort of tension in the air, and it lingered in the distance between them at the breakfast table. yugyeom, of course, couldn't stop himself from making comments about how mark might not like the korean style breakfast and that he shouldn't think that his parents would try to cook all  _ american  _ for him or anything—  _ who do you think you are _ , yugyeom had said— even though mark wasn't even listening. 

it wasn't like mark had never had any asian food anyway; he had grown up with an american-taiwanese family, he could speak a decent amount of chinese and he definitely felt the extent of having asian parents.

yeah sure, it was his first time in korea but asian culture wasn't  _ unfamiliar _ to him. 

"you guys will be late. better hurry up, right?" yugyeom's mom said after they finished their breakfast. "make sure that mark won't get lost, you hear me, yugyeom?" 

and the taller male groaned. "yes,  _ mom _ ." 

so the two of them walked for a while through the crowded streets of seoul, eventually arriving at a bus stop and taking the bus to school. 

it wasn't much different to school back in los angeles, mark thought, he just felt less of an outsider, less of the kid that would get stared at and talked about. that asian boy or something, way meaner things sometimes, but it was fine. he was a lot of things that people didn't understand.

mark yawned, the jet lag still lingering in his bones, and the embarrassment of falling asleep next to the boy not yet forgotten. 

"you're really going on that exchange?" mark's best friend had asked him while they were face-timing sometimes through the night. bambam had been the one to suggest it in the first place, doing the exchange together, but only mark had been chosen for the program. "they said i'm too bothersome to have some asian family deal with me— can you believe that? i'm literally asian." 

mark had only laughed at that statement. “well, i agree, bam, you are a pain in the ass, i wouldn't want you to stay with my family either—” 

"shut up, mark, dorine loves me, okay? and raymond usually mentions how i am always welcome as well." the thai boy said noisily, having mark laugh only more. “i know he secretly wants to adopt me. and dorine  _ definitely  _ likes me better than you.”

a slight smile appeared on mark's lips when he thought about his best friend. he wondered how he was doing right now. they had met just a day before mark had left america but… well, bambam always  _ was _ in trouble the second after mark lost sight of him. he was probably causing chaos wherever he was, and whatever he was doing. 

yugyeom was looking at him. again.

mark pretended not to notice the way he kept shooting gazes at him, questioning, almost  _ judging _ . it didn't make any sense after he'd done his very best to ignore him yesterday. did he want to be friends, or not? or, at least, did he even want to talk? 

mark really couldn’t guess what yugyeom wanted. 

all he knew was that they’d gotten off on the wrong foot, and it was up to mark to convince yugyeom that he really wasn’t  _ that  _ bad. he wasn’t the annoying intruder of an exchange student that yugyeom thought he was. he would make a great friend, even if his korean wasn’t too great yet. mark decided he had to prove yugyeom wrong — prove to him that he really could improve his korean and that he was fun to be with. he  _ was  _ fun, right? mark could do fun. he was a lot more fun to be around than yugyeom, he knew that much at least. 

his black converse clicked against the floor when he bobbed back and forth a few times, smiling to himself. the oversized hoodie made him look even smaller than he was, a pretty pastel blue colour and the sleeves rolled up just enough so his wrists were showing. the jeans being a tight fit and ripped at the knees, showing off the porcelain skin. 

yugyeom's mom had offered to let him borrow some of yugyeom's uniform to help him blend in, but everything had been at least a size too big and hung off his small frame. but his outfit was cute, and definitely cuter than yugyeom's school uniform.

mark was cute and he knew it. 

and that boy in school, sitting only two seats from him knew too. 

"hi, i'm jaebeom," he had introduced himself during break time, black hair tied up in a bun, a ring displayed around his nose, "you must be new, right?" 

mark had given yugyeom a few looks, seeing him rolling his eyes at the boy, only stepping further away as if he didn't want to be seen with him. 

"my name's mark," the blonde male said politely, before thinking for a while. "i am an exchange student from america," he continued after remembering his words. 

"america?" jaebeom had smiled a bit, it was a pretty smile, sharp at the corner, smug to say the least. jaebeom knew he was cool just as much as mark knew that he was cute. 

but who was mark to deny it — jaebeom really was  _ that _ cool guy. leather jacket fitting tight around the broad shoulders, thighs looking thick in his school trousers — which looked better on him than yugyeom, not that mark was checking yugyeom out or anything — and the hem of the shirt messily tucked in. his fingers were graced with rings and there was a small necklace hanging around his neck. the male was taller than mark - everyone seemed to be taller than him, how was that even possible?

"that explains the cute accent," the male continues, another smile for mark, "you might sound even cuter in english, right?" 

mark giggled before taking a step back. "well, you might find out," he said before pointing to the tallest. yugyeom was still standing there glaring in their direction, looking like a walking thunderstorm. "i'll better get going before he kills me." 

jaebeom just waved goodbye, a slight smirk on his lips, leaving the older male with his temporal housemate again. 

☂

“hey,” mark said, skipping up to yugyeom in the cafeteria lunch queue.

yugyeom barely glanced over, pretending to be overly interested in the selection of specials on the menu. “what do you want? can’t find the toilet?” he suggested dryly.

mark tried not to roll his eyes too hard. “what are you getting?” he asked. he kept his tone light, leading carefully up to the real question he wanted to ask later. 

he’d only been at the school for a few hours, but mark could already make a few reasonable assumptions about yugyeom’s social life. he didn’t appear to have any friends, and tended to ghost around the school campus by himself. that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but mark was surprised at how different yugyeom’s school life was from his. back at his high school in los angeles, mark would always talk to almost everyone, and had a wide group of friends. granted, not everyone was friendly, but he didn’t treat people like yugyeom did.

to yugyeom, it was like the other students barely existed.

“i’m getting…  _ tired of you _ .” yugyeom brushed mark’s attempts at friendship off, and told the server what he wanted. she dumped it on his tray and he continued down the line.

“well,” said mark, not quite comprehending whatever yugyeom was muttering, “jaebeom asked me to sit with him.”

“good for you.”

mark blinked at him, hesitating. “and i want you to sit with us.”

yugyeom froze. “no thanks.”

sit with jaebeom in the lunch hall? yeah, for yugyeom that was definitely a hard pass. it’s not like they didn’t get along — in fact, they barely knew each other — but yugyeom wasn’t anywhere near the league of popularity that lim jaebeom resided in. the fact that mark thought he could break the school’s entire class system was cute, but utterly stupid.

“what?” mark grabbed his own lunch and raced after him, doing his best to keep up as yugyeom tried to find an empty table. “but i said you’d join us! i asked jaebeom, and he invited you.”

“well, you can tell  _ jaebeom _ he can uninvite me.”

“ _ yugyeom _ .”

somehow, yugyeom quickly found himself sitting at the popular table with the popular kids not long after. he put up a fight, but for some reason mark’s puppy dog eyes were extremely powerful in crumbling every ounce of his willpower. 

there were only a couple of guys on the popular table that day. jaebeom, of course, was one of them — the school’s resident bad boy. then there was jinyoung, who was basically all of the guys in boys over flowers combined into one — handsome, charming, and ridiculously smart. he always held the number one rank in the school in terms of grades, and he was also the class president. lastly, there was jackson, who was the athlete in the group. he was a fencer, and was one step away from competing internationally.

yugyeom hated the lot of them. they were like some kind of cliche power trio ruling the school, like the kind you’d see in movies. there was a running joke that they could be called J3, like the F4 boys from boys over flowers. the worst part was probably the fact that they were all rich, and that made yugyeom despise them all the more.

“oh, you’re from LA?” jackson asked, chatting with mark easily in english.

mark nodded, eyes lighting up at the familiar way jackson phrased the question, like he had some kind of connection with the city. “yeah, have you ever been?”

“nope,” jackson said. “i’ve only been to the US once, and it was for my dad’s work. i literally stayed in the hotel the whole time.”

“oh,” mark laughed. “your english is really good, though.”

jackson shrugged. “i’m from china,” he said. “i’ve actually spent most of my life in china and—”

“yeah, we get it, jackson,” jinyoung said, barely looking up from the book he was reading, as he switched the entire conversation from english back into korean, “you’re jackson wang from china. it’s not like we haven’t heard it a million times before.”

jackson grinned and shot him a finger gun.

“to be fair, your korean isn’t bad, mark,” jinyoung added. he said it in that off-hand tone he always used with everyone — that made a compliment sound more like a critique. he was busy scribbling notes in the margin of his textbook, so he didn’t catch the way mark smiled at the praise.

“i was gonna say that,” jackson grumbled, extending a leg to kick jinyoung’s shin under the table. jinyoung death-glared him over the frame of his glasses, which was enough of a warning to make jackson shudder and back off.

“well, i was also going to say it,” jaebeom said, meeting mark’s eyes. he leaned in, resting his elbows on the table, and tried to gauge mark’s feelings from his expression. “jackson’s korean was shit when he first came here.”

“that’s  _ harsh _ .”

“it’s also true.” jinyoung threw jackson the fakest smile he could muster, which jackson combated with an even faker smile of his own. it was a strange form of fighting, to say the least.

jaebeom scoffed at the two of them, and went back to captivating mark with his dark angular eyes and sculpted cheekbones. “how long have you been learning?” he asked.

it was obvious what he was doing — or at least it was obvious enough to yugyeom. nobody really talked about it, but everyone in the school knew that jaebeom didn’t really have a gender preference when it came to dating. (he just snacked who he wanted to snack.) it wasn’t much of a problem, however, since everyone wanted to date him anyway. jaebeom was essentially a bisexual fantasy — all dark windswept hair and tattoos (not that anyone had actually seen any, but there was a rumour going around that he had a snake on his lower back). so it made yugyeom’s blood boil at the way even someone like jaebeom, who had the pick of anyone at school, made a beeline for annoying little mark tuan and gave him so much attention the minute he arrived.

yugyeom couldn’t figure out what he hated more — mark receiving all the attention, or jaebeom giving it.

mark rambled on about his poor excuse for korean language skills — something about wanting to learn another language after working a little on his chinese. yugyeom scowled as he watched him talk. he chewed through another mouthful of the lunch special, unable to look away. it was pathetic, the way mark’s eyes would light up like that the moment he was given a little bit of attention. what — was he desperate for it? yugyeom wanted to kick him under the table but mark was too far away.

“wait, how much mandarin do you speak?” jackson cut in excitedly, switching into his native tongue (although he was so good at all three languages he spoke that it was hard to distinguish his fluency in them all). 

“i understand… almost everything,” mark said carefully in mandarin, having to think through his words in advance (like he did with his korean, to some extent), “but i’m not great at speaking it. my family mostly speak english at home.”

yugyeom narrowed his eyes, having to endure the rest of the conversation in a language he could hardly understand. he was pretty sure his mandarin ability began and ended with ‘ _ hello, my name is yugyeom _ ’. mark had to be lying when he said he couldn’t speak any mandarin, though. to yugyeom, it looked like he could get by easily enough. the words rolled smoothly off his tongue, and the gentle tone of his voice made them almost seem to dance. yugyeom lost track of the amount of time he spent staring at mark over lunch, subconsciously observing the way the light glittered in his pale blond hair, and the never ending attention from jaebeom lifted his lips with a smile that never quite left his face.

“so,” said jaebeom, and yugyeom didn’t realise he was talking to him until jaebeom was looking right at him with that intense gaze of his, “mark’s staying at your place then?”

“yeah,” yugyeom answered quickly. he downed the last of his water and shifted in his seat. 

jaebeom raised an eyebrow. “must be… interesting.”

“you could say that,” yugyeom muttered under his breath.

mark’s eyes flicked between the two of them as he tried to analyse the weird dynamic that had just appeared. “yugyeom’s parents are really nice,” he said. “i’m happy to be staying with them.”

the end of lunch bell rang and the remaining students in the cafeteria began to disperse. jackson dragged both jinyoung and his books up and they headed in the direction of the school field for their last class. jaebeom stood, smiling, and reached out to ruffle mark’s hair fondly.

“well, i’m glad they’re taking good care of you,” he said. “and don’t forget to let me know if you need anything while you’re here. i’ll take care of it for you.”

“thanks.” mark nodded, meeting jaebeom’s eyes for a moment too long.

“see you around, yugyeom,” jaebeom added, before sticking his hands in the pockets of his school trousers and taking off. 

yugyeom scowled after him as he walked away. “come on, then,” he said shortly, pulling mark up by the arm. he took both of their lunch trays to clean up, leaving mark to catch up with him.

“jesus,” mark sighed.

yugyeom didn’t catch that.

  
  
  


☂

  
  
  


spending an entire day with kim yugyeom was more exhausting than mark had expected. school itself wasn’t that bad — in fact, it wasn’t really too different from his own school back home, except for the structure of the day, and those cute little uniforms everyone wore. but trying to make conversation with the cloud of doom and gloom that always seemed to engulf yugyeom was draining mark’s energy way too fast.

they took the bus home together, again not managing to find seats amongst a crowd of students in the school rush. yugyeom reached up to grab onto the handrail to steady himself.

“is it always this busy?” mark murmured, mostly to himself since yugyeom wasn’t exactly in the mood to listen to his thoughts.

“hold on, or you’ll fall,” yugyeom grunted. 

just before the bus started moving, a boy in a different uniform to yugyeom’s squeezed onto the bus, cramming into the last bit of space in front of yugyeom and mark. he must’ve known yugyeom because he nodded in acknowledgement when he saw him, and yugyeom rolled his eyes in response.

“have you finally made a friend, gyeom?” the boy asked teasingly. he was neither tall nor short, and had a round face and wavy brown hair, and a smile that made him seem instantly likeable.

yugyeom fixed him with a fake smile and a sideways glance. “you’re hilarious, youngjae, really,” he said flatly.

youngjae grinned. “by  _ friend _ , i mean someone other than me, of course,” he told mark. “because trust me, i’ve offered to be his friend probably more times than i’ve sung ‘sunday morning’ at karaoke, and that’s a lot of times. yugyeom just doesn’t really do  _ friends _ .”

“are you gonna shut up?” yugyeom asked him. “or am i going to have to make you?”

youngjae ignored him. “i’m his next door neighbour,” he explained to mark, holding out his hand to shake. “my name’s youngjae. good luck getting through to that one. he’s a bit of a tough case to crack.”

“nice to meet you,” mark said, trying not to laugh at the whole situation. “i’m mark—”

“he’s an exchange student from america,” yugyeom said. “he’s staying with my parents.”

“and you, i presume.”

yugyeom narrowed his eyes at youngjae, who continued to smile cheerfully back. “yeah,” he said slowly. “obviously he’s staying with me too.”

the bickering continued the entire journey home, all the way up to the edge of youngjae’s driveway. mark watched in amusement as the two of them played at having a proper argument, throwing insults back and forth like they were  _ hellos _ and  _ how are yous _ . 

“have fun, mark,” youngjae laughed as he turned to head up to his place. “if you ever feel like strangling him, call me over and i’ll give you a helping hand.”

“will do,” mark joked, waving goodbye as yugyeom stormed inside ahead of him.

they didn’t talk until dinner.

in the evening, yugyeom’s mother laid out a homemade traditional korean meal to celebrate mark’s first full day as an exchange student. they sat around the dinner table together, picking and choosing between side dishes, and making friendly conversation. mark was grateful for yugyeom’s parents in times like these. if it were just him and yugyeom sitting at the table together, they would either be arguing about something or sitting in silence.

“so, did you enjoy school, mark?” yugyeom’s mother asked while piling more meat onto his plate. “was it very different to what you’re used to?”

“it was fun,” mark said after a moment of careful thought. “i met some people in yugyeom’s class and we ate lunch together.”

“making friends already,” yugyeom’s father remarked with a warm smile. “”i knew you’d fit right in, mark.”

yugyeom watched the three of them laugh together, while he ate in silence. it was weird, just how easily mark had slotted himself into yugyeom’s life. of course everyone loved him — yugyeom’s parents, jackson, even jaebeom. mark was everything yugyeom wasn’t, always bubbly and bright and ready to offer a smile or a helping hand. 

he could replace yugyeom in an instant. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bam is my favourite character (@johnnys)
> 
> leave us a comment if you enjoyed, we appreciate it a lot <3


	3. karaoke battle

"we've been invited to a karaoke bar. just some classmates, yugyeom and me," mark had told his host mother earlier that evening, an  _ oh so sweet _ smile playing on his lips. he knew his own charms well and he loved to use them, especially when it came to getting yugyeom out of the house.

"sounds like a great opportunity," she said. it didn't take mark any further effort to convince her. "yugyeom really needs to make some friends, right?"

yugyeom was glaring at them from where he hovered halfway up the stairs. "mom—” he began to object, but was quickly cut off by mark’s smug little smile.

"yes,” he said. “yes he does, mrs kim.”

and that was pretty much all it took to drag yugyeom along to a social event. their karaoke room was quite dark, and a few bottles of soju and cans of beer sat on the table, along with all kinds of unfamiliar korean snacks. mark had never heard of most of them, but was pleasantly surprised by how good they were. 

jaebeom, of course, had invited him. as always, with him came jinyoung and jackson too, who had very different opinions when it came to karaoke. jackson was already pretty drunk, and was loudly singing along to some popular k-pop song from a well known girl group — but mark wasn't really into that, if he was honest. there were three girls who had tagged along as well but mark hadn't been able to catch their names. (it wasn’t like he had any interest in them anyway, and sweet smiles and kind words were enough to keep them pleased.) jaebeom had also invited a few other guys, who were older and quite handsome. mark couldn't stop himself from staring for a bit. 

the first was mature and refined, but kindly-spoken, and had introduced himself as hakyeon. he had to be at least twenty, if not a few years older, and wore a white shirt that contrasted with his glowy tan, and was so incredibly pretty that mark had a hard time looking away. the second of the two guys had greeted him with confidence and a gleaming white smile. his name was jaehwan and he wore a similar shirt to hakyeon’s but in black and with a few extra buttons undone to display his collarbones. they looked like some ultra-rich business men, or first male leads from some k-drama. (and  _ no _ , if you were wondering, mark obviously hadn’t been binge watching a shit ton of those to catch up on some basic korean phrases he didn’t know yet.)

there was a third male next to them, purple-haired and mysterious. he was nameless so far, but maybe mark had just missed that name as well. the  _ norae bang _ was owned by another one of jaebeom's friends. his name was leo, or at least mark thought that's what he was called. 

"they're not from school," jaebeom whispered, his hand tightly wrapped around mark’s thigh. 

it was too much for yugyeom to watch. he glowered at them from across the room, uncomfortable due to the burning sensation in his chest. why would someone like lim jaebeom touch annoying little mark tuan? especially like... like  _ that _ ? his fingers crept further up mark’s inner thigh, leaving a very heavy suggestion lingering in the air, and mark definitely looked way too pleased about it. 

"i met them during an internship at my dad's company,” jaebeom went on, but the way he spoke made his words seem more like pillow talk than casual conversation. “he's like the ceo, you know?" 

yugyeom didn't know if he hated jaebeom more for bragging shamelessly about his father, or mark for obviously falling for it. 

it might be the alcohol though. mark had downed two bottles of soju and shared what was probably a third can of beer with jaebeom already, not that yugyeom was monitoring mark’s alcohol intake like a watchful mother or  _ boyfriend _ or anything. yugyeom liked the thought of blaming the alcohol, though. it was easier than admitting that mark probably liked jaebeom more than him. 

how couldn't he though? even when jaebeom wasn’t doing anything, just sitting there, his presence filled the room. his hair was partly up in a ponytail, the rest of it displayed on his shoulders, eyes dark and lips rose-pink and pretty — curled up into the most handsome smile while he leaned in, whispering something in marks ear. jaebeom surely couldn't be real. 

for a split second, yugyeom caught himself wishing that he was in jaebeom’s place, or even mark's with the special attention he was receiving. there was some kind of desperate longing buried deep in yugyeom's chest that, for a moment, made his heart race and his head spin. but that moment passed and he was back to silently cursing them both again.

it was like time was frozen, everything at a stand still. jaebeom never seemed to take his hands off mark, and whatever song jackson had chosen was never ending. but jackson's drunk half-singing-half-screaming was far beyond the spiraling train of thought that kept yugyeom fixated on mark. 

it didn't matter if jackson couldn't hit the top note when yugyeom couldn't get over how close mark and jaebeom had gotten in a matter of days. he watched as mark giggled a bit, his fingers slightly tracing jaebeom's hands from his fingertips over the silver rings on his fingers up to his wrist and the watch slung around the pale skin before heading back down. 

the whispering continued and yugyeom couldn't take his eyes off of the way mark's lips formed the foreign words, how he would stick out his tongue now and then or lick his lips. he couldn't stop thinking about the way mark would touch the tiny pink scars on jaebeom’s wrist, probably asking where they were from, or not sure how much he should question them.

it was a well known secret at school — something everyone knew about but never addressed out loud. there were a lot of presumptions and rumors about the scars, with all of jaebeom's fangirls (and fanboys) desperately worried about his mental health or any other likely explanation. (the truth was that jaebeom had an undying love for cats and picking up a stray cat didn't go too well that one time.) 

it was pathetic, though, the strange obsession yugyeom seemed to have for mark. he blamed that on the alcohol too. mark tuan wasn't cute or hot, or so attractive in every way it made yugyeom have to internalise all of his feelings and pretend they didn't exist. nope, mark tuan was nothing but an annoying little shit who made every effort to ruin every aspect of yugyeom's denial. 

he nodded, convinced that this was his final answer only to find jaebeom's gaze meeting his own as he continued staring at him. yugyeom's cheeks flushed in the shame of being caught. the smirk on jaebeom's lips only made the embarrassment worse.

but the way he was looking at yugyeom, eyeing him up and down like a challenge, or a competitor, didn't distract him from mark. jaebeom leaned in further to mark's ear only to whisper something else inaudible to yugyeom, and pressed a few slow kisses to mark's cheek and jaw. it made yugyeom's stomach flip, the way jaebeom did all of that while never looking away. it felt like yugyeom was watching something he shouldn't, and that jaebeom was doing it entirely for either his entertainment or his torture.

the eye contact broke only when jackson finished his song and reached across the table to catch jinyoung's hand. "nyeongie," he whined, "you have to sing with me! we're  _ wang gae park gae _ , right? right, so you have to!" 

everything jackson had said for the last half hour had been incomprehensible to yugyeom. it was getting to a point of the night where he really started to regret ever giving into mark in the first place. it was a friday night, and he was stuck with those idiots instead of sitting alone at home and playing video games until he could no longer keep his eyes open.

it might be a sad way to spend a friday night, and it was exactly what he'd be doing if it weren't for mark but it was still better than whatever  _ this _ was. 

he had never meant to play video games with mark, but there had been several nights that week where that was exactly what happened. the first time, mark had knocked on his door to tell him the bathroom was free and had ended up watching him play until yugyeom told him to get out. after that, mark had somehow managed to convince him that multiplayer was more fun than single player — and so he would grab his pillow and sit on the floor next to yugyeom's beanbag, and they would game together in silence until one of them decided to go to sleep.

yugyeom wouldn't admit it to anyone but mark really wasn't bad at playing video games. they hadn't talked much at all; yugyeom strictly tried to ignore mark's presence and his own fascination with how good he was at playing overwatch. but they had, admittedly, shared the same space for quite a few hours during the nights.

it was funny, actually, because mark would always repeat a few sentences his character said during the game, making sure to translate and remember them. yugyeom would have to hide a smile now and then, hoping mark was too caught up in the game to catch the way he stared. 

jinyoung had been absorbed in his book for the last two hours, hood pulled up to give at least the illusion of privacy, and the glasses on his face making him even more handsome than usual. “fuck off, jackson,” he replied, not even glaring at him, and mark laughed at the interaction. 

it was fascinating, how similar they were to his friends back in LA. maybe that's why he got along with them so well — except for yugyeom of course. yugyeom wasn't anything like his LA friends. he was cold and distant, and unwilling to open up. but mark hadn't given up on his mission to befriend his host family's son.

and he would get there at some point, he knew that. 

“i’d love to hear you sing too,” mark added, earning everyone's attention again, as always. every time he spoke it was like he lit up the room.

yugyeom hated it. 

and that's why he let out a sigh so heavy it prompted several weird looks, grabbed his phone and left for the bathroom.  _ fuck them all _ , seriously. it wasn't like he hasn’t been talked to at all so far or been included in any kind of conversation. maybe it was his own fault, but he at least expected mark to say  _ something _ since he was the one who dragged him out there in the first place. but mark probably went all in on jaebeom the moment yugyeom stepped through the door. 

except that he didn't. mark noticed the way yugyeom's expression shifted, just like he noticed everything else about him. mark watched him get up and leave, and almost began to pout at the loss of his presence. “i’ll be heading out for a minute— just, i need some fresh air,” he mumbled in a low voice, before slipping out of jaebeom’s embrace to follow yugyeom down the corridor. 

jaebeom didn't think too hard when it came to mark following yugyeom out like a puppy… or like a worried boyfriend, or something. jaebeom was already too far gone to think in that much detail, just drunk enough for his thoughts to be too clouded to think properly.

“hey, i was about to sing.” jinyoung stopped mark on his way out, sounding just a little  _ too _ tipsy to be seriously annoyed. but then again, you never could tell when it came to jinyoung.

mark laughed lightly, flashing those delicate yet sharp canines of his, which left jinyoung wondering if he was secretly a vampire. “i’ll be back in no time, trust me, i won’t wanna miss out on that.” 

it was like everyone had fallen for mark tuan and his sweet little smile and his accented korean, because no one was mad at him for leaving right then and there. and nobody was ever allowed to leave before a park jinyoung performance. if you had ever listened to him sing, you would know exactly why.

it took jaebeom a good five minutes or so to start realising that it wasn't only mark who had left the room, but yugyeom’s pissed little aura had also been gone for a while. it wasn't like jaebeom really cared (he and yugyeom probably found each other just as annoying) but mark was out there too. knowing mark and his sweet disposition, he was probably talking to yugyeom right then, asking why he was annoyed and trying his best to calm him down. all of that would mean that jaebeom’s whole game of getting on yugyeom’s nerves and irritating the shit out of him would come to an end — and he had no intention of letting that happen any time soon. 

“excuse me,” he muttered to those older friends of his. the words were a bit slurred but his friends still managed to catch his drift.

jaebeom left the small room, finally able to breathe in fresh air again after being stuck in such a hot and stuffy room for the past two and a half hours. his feet brought him to the stairs, leading him just a few steps up to where mark was probably standing just outside. 

but as he wanted to take the first step, another door opened and yugyeom came shuffling out of the bathroom. he stopped when he saw jaebeom, meeting his eyes with a slightly confused stare. he didn’t say anything though — who was he to care about what jaebeom was doing? running after annoying little mark tuan, probably.  _ well, do as you please jaebeom _ , he thought, mentally rolling his eyes. 

"where's mark?" jaebeom interrupted his thoughts, which made yugyeom let out an almost involuntary huff.

"why should i know?" yugyeom said bluntly. what he really meant was,  _ why should i care? _ but there were a lot of reasons for him to care about mark tuan — just none that he would admit.

“i thought he went looking for you,” jaebeom replied. he leant against the wall of the corridor, brushing against dingy food delivery posters. he studied yugyeom's expression in the hazy light. there was one LED strip across the ceiling that flickered.

“why would he?” yugyeom didn’t quite look at jaebeom anymore, but rather stared at the slightly greenish wall facing him, the cracks fitting as if they were supposed to be there. maybe things would be easier if yugyeom could just disappear into one of those cracks and seal up the wall behind him.

a smug grin spread across jaebeom's lips as he leaned against the cool brick of the wall behind him. “because you stared at us.” he left a pause, unspoken hints to what he was referring to. “we got you a bit hot and bothered back there, didn’t we?” 

yugyeom felt his face heat up. he was suddenly grateful for the bad lightning down there where he and jaebeom faced each other, like it was some kind of over-dramatic confrontation. (maybe that was exactly what it was.) “bullshit.” 

as if he was going to admit that  _ yes _ — he thought mark and jaebeom had indeed look fucking hot back in the karaoke room, cuddled up on the sofa, the sweet nothings they probably had shared still running rampant through yugyeom’s imagination. (it was probably the high sex drive he had due to still being a teen, but what could he do? they were all a bit too horny, weren’t they?) 

"sure it is," jaebeom said, tantalisingly slow. he didn't even have to move closer to yugyeom to watch him squirm. 

“don’t misunderstand, he's just staying at my place," yugyeom blurted out, shrugging as if it was obvious. "i  _ have _ to be around him, it's not like i  _ want _ to."

jaebeom narrowed his eyes just a bit before pointing towards the stairs. “so, i can just go catch up with him and—” 

“seriously, do as you please, just leave me out of it.” yugyeom looked away again only to make eye contact again. “and that little show you pulled in there — that’s disgusting.” 

“oh is it?” jaebeom started, arching an eyebrow at yugyeom's choice of words. the smirk was back as he stepped closer to fire back, but— 

“what are you guys talking about?” 

mark stood in the doorway at the top of the steps, the hood of his jacket pulled up against the wind, and his phone screen glowing in his hand. yugyeom took several large steps back from jaebeom until he hit the wall, creating more space between them, and somehow making the situation  _ more _ awkward.

“mark.” jaebeom smiled and wrapped an inviting hand around mark’s slender wrist to pull him close. “i’ve been looking for you. jinyoung's pissed because you missed his song.” 

that wasn’t a lie though — mark had missed a show. jinyoung was definitely a better singer than jackson was, or any of them really. he practically slayed high notes for a living, and had hit each one of them with ease. it had been a welcome break from jackson's overexcited screeching.

“well, let’s head back then, sounds like i really need to hear him sing.” 

that’s when jaebeom’s arm made his way up around mark's smaller shoulders and lead him back to their personal karaoke room, yugyeom following with what seemed like a reasonable distance. 

☂

“we’re heading towards that new club in hongdae,” jaehwan had said the whole group left the karaoke bar and stood in the cool night air. the faint light from the moon and the street lamps was suddenly so bright it made mark's eyes sting. “are you guys joining or would you rather not?” 

mark would have  _ loved _ to join them. jaebeom’s friends had been so kind and nice and funny (and every other positive adjective he could think of while drunk) — a lot funnier than being alone with yugyeom, though mark appreciated his huge selection of video games — but the alcohol made him sleepy, tired, and so terribly weak that he almost slumped against yugyeom’s shoulder. yugyeom had refused not even seconds after jaehwan had finished speaking, and mark was now nodding along. 

“i should probably head home too, mrs kim might worry,” mark said sweetly, skipping up to yugyeom. 

jaebeom, to everyone’s surprise, also refused to join. “i guess i’ll call it a night,” he said before turning to mark. “how about i take you home?” 

they were left standing in another long moment of silence, and the way jaebeom's girl friends coughed made it more awkward than it needed to be. the guys headed off to their cars, ushering the girls along with them, and left yugyeom alone with everyone's new favourite OTP. it was nearly unbearable, especially when one half of that pairing was hanging off his arm.

even so, yugyeom waited for mark's answer, silently hoping that he would tell jaebeom to fuck off, or something along those lines. maybe he would say he was walking home with him — maybe because he was a bit drunk himself and afraid yugyeom might not find the way back home alone. but then again, mark had no clue where they were either, and he'd be stupid to pass up a ride home.

“i don’t want to leave him like that,” mark mumbled, trying not to sound as drunk as he was, or that he pitied him too much. yugyeom obviously didn't get out much, or go drinking that often and mark felt just a little sorry for the boy. and maybe a bit too much as the reason for his excessive drinking. 

"well," jaebeom sighed, as if it took great pains to say it, "i could drive you both home. since… you live together."

"no!" yugyeom blurted. he cleared his throat, and tried to maintain a neutral expression. "i mean… no,  _ thanks _ . i wouldn't want to  _ burden _ you like that."

"oh, it's no problem," jaebeom told him, in a tone that clearly said  _ it was a problem _ .

"no,  _ really _ ," yugyeom said, gritting his teeth. "i'd much rather walk."

“well then,” jaebeom said, instantly backing down and returning to his original offer, "if you don't want a ride, i'm sure wouldn't mind if i drove mark. he's tired."

"i'm not tired," mark objected, through a wide yawn. "and i want to walk too." he met jaebeom's eyes with a smile, and jaebeom took that as a win.

he took a step towards him, slowly closing the distance between them. “i’ll see you monday, then?” 

and mark nodded, no intention of breaking either the gaze nor the now almost non-existent distance between them, not taking a step back or getting any closer. 

jaebeom’s fingers were subtle when they wrapped themselves around mark’s body, around his tiny waist, holding onto the thin fabric of his shirt under the huge denim jacket. jaebeom pulled him closer, just a little more, his eyes half lidded, leaning forward to where mark seemed to be waiting for him. his hands gripped the cool leather of jaebeom’s jacket, eyes closed in anticipation.

and if it weren’t for yugyeom tugging mark back by the collar, their lips would have met for a kiss, which jaebeom expected to probably be the softest and most experienced kiss he would have ever had.

but yugyeom had ruined it. 

“c’mon then, it’s cold,” yugyeom grumbled, leaving mark all red-cheeked and giggly. the back of his neck was warm from where yugyeom's fingers had brushed against it. mark threw one last gaze over his shoulder and he waved at jaebeom before focusing on the tall male walking next to himself. 

“maybe you should warm me up then,” he joked, too drunk to care about his teasing attitude, having yugyeom roll his eyes at him. 

“ha  _ ha _ ,” he replied, flinging a hand back in jaebeom's direction. “if you're cold, go ask your  _ boyfriend  _ to warm you up.” 

the word felt weird on yugyeom's lips, sounded strange in his own ears.  _ boyfriend _ . he wasn’t against…  _ this _ kind of relationship, as long as those people were happy with it. at least, that was what he kept telling himself. it had only been a few months since he'd had the crushing realisation that he was one of  _ those people _ after drooling over a particularly attractive guy in the locker room at school. but it still sounded weird to him. almost wrong. 

maybe it was because it was mark and jaebeom out of all people. 

(maybe it was because jaebeom was his true gay awakening and not that guy in the locker room, and he didn't know how to feel about that.)

mark scoffed, his breath like a puff of smoke in the cool air. “he’s not," he mumbled. "we’re just friends.” he kicked a few of the stones across the pavement.

“he’s too close to be  _ just a friend, _ ” yugyeom interjected. 

mark rolled his eyes. how could yugyeom pretend to not care at all and then come up with something like that? that jealous… and  _ that _ hurt? he was obviously interested. 

“not like you care anyways, right?" mark said, sticking his hands in his pockets and refusing to look at him. "you don’t even  _ want _ to be around me.” 

yugyeom glanced over at him, frustrated by the feeling of guilt that consumed him. mark had obviously overheard what he'd said to jaebeom in the corridor earlier. “you heard us?” he asked quietly.

mark just nodded, maybe a bit too hurt. “i'm sorry for dragging you along, you know," he said, in a rather accusatory tone. "but you didn't  _ have _ to come if you didn't want to."

"you didn't really give me another option." yugyeom stared at the road ahead, focusing his attention on a little food delivery bike ahead of them instead of the sheepish giggle that escaped mark's lips.

"still," mark said, skipping along beside him to keep up with yugyeom's larger strides, "you didn't have to be such a pissface the entire time."

yugyeom felt his face flush. "i was not!" 

mark sighed happily. "you  _ so _ were."

"...fuck off."

they walked along together under the glow of the streetlamps, and a silence fell between them that was somehow a comfortable one. the cold night air seemed to sober mark up a little, even though he still clung onto yugyeom's arm to hold himself upright. yugyeom shivered. his jacket didn't have any pockets.

"wait, are you actually cold?" mark looked up at him, eyes wide. "i thought you only said that to get me to leave."

"yes, i'm cold," yugyeom snapped. "so hurry up and maybe we can get home before my hands freeze off."

“you could hold my hand, you know,” mark offered, holding out his hand as if to make sure yugyeom had heard him. his fingers were pale and bony, the nails just a bit longer than average for most boys, and overall a lot smaller than yugyeom's. 

the taller male stared at the porcelain skin for a brief moment, realising that mark  _ was _ indeed serious about this. “yeah, that's not gonna happen. i'm not  _ holding hands _ with you.” 

(the words  _ holding _ and  _ hands _ together in the same sentence, with the context of those hands being mark's hands, was enough to make yugyeom's heart perform an elaborate gymnastics routine in his chest.)

“you're seriously such a dickhead.” 

“how comes you barely come up with a proper korean sentence but know a shit ton of insults?” yugyeom exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

_ well— that would be the many hours spent binge watching korean dramas _ , mark thought and almost giggled to himself. “how come you can't stop complaining about whatever i do?” it was mark’s turn to ask, a period of silence before he added, “admit it, you're head over heels for me.” 

there it was again — that smug smile on his face — another thing yugyeom hated about mark tuan. 

mark was wrong though, yugyeom definitely  _ did not _ like him at all, let alone have a crush on him, that was  _ ridiculous _ . he might have been a bit too obvious about his disapproval of jaebeom and mark but other than that, mark hadn't had any reason to think this way. 

“bullshit,” was all yugyeom managed to say. 

mark scoffed. "whatever, i was only joking," he told him, though he wasn't sure how much of that was true. "give me your hand."

"what? no!" yugyeom flat-out refused, squirming away from mark's grasp.

"don't be such a baby." mark let go of yugyeom's arm and grabbed his hand instead, not taking no for an answer. he couldn't hide the smile that spread across his lips when yugyeom continued to object.

"let go of me," yugyeom told him, without much conviction.

mark just slipped his hand into yugyeom's, lacing their fingers together, and put it in his pocket to keep him warm. "why are your hands so cold?" he muttered in surprise.

"told you i'm fucking freezing."

"you should wear more clothes."

"okay, _mom_."

the petty bickering continued the entire journey home, but mark gave every response with a smug smile. even if yugyeom hated him, mark was still holding his hand in his pocket the whole way back. and yugyeom had finally stopped trying to pull away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (honestly, @defsprince wrote most of this and it was gold <333)
> 
> side note from defsprince: tag yourself, i'm jackson at the bar
> 
> side note from johnnys: leave us a comment if you enjoyed! my fave character is lowkey jinyoung at this point lol


	4. movie night

" _ so, how's life? found a cute boyfriend yet? 'cause we all know you need one _ ."

"shut  _ up _ ," mark laughed over the phone. it was saturday evening and the house was quiet, except for yugyeom's parents debating their choice of restaurant at the bottom of the stairs.

" _ i'm serious, bro! basically the whole of LA knows how desperate you are. _ "

"bam, that is  _ so _ not true," mark argued. he was hovering in the doorway to the guest room, phone to his ear as he waited for yugyeom's parents to leave. 

" _it so is!_ " bambam disagreed, finding some kind of joy in winding his best friend up. " _everyone and his mom has seen your insta stories, and it's always 'omg i'm so lonely, i want a bf, sad face'_."

mark stared at the image he had saved with bambam's number — the world's ugliest selfie of the two of them on miami beach one summer when their families had gone on holiday together. "that is such a huge lie, bam," he said, shaking his head. "i do  _ not _ post stories every day. and no one even views them!"

" _ except your seven thousand followers _ ."

"right, i'm hanging up—"

" _wait!_ " bambam yelled. " _you didn't answer my question. i'm dying to know_ _who you're hooking up with._ "

mark rolled his eyes. “i am not hooking up with anyone, and if so i’d make sure to tell you first.” 

“ _ you’re such a liar, mark tuan! i saw your insta story. _ ” 

“what story—” mark choked out, questioning what he had posted in his drunken stage last night. 

“ _ you reposted someone’s story— can’t read the korean but it seemed like you’ve been at some karaoke bar? you and some admittingly hot dude were like so touchy? and you’re telling me you’re not hooking up _ ?” mark sighed, it was probably jackson or that jaehwan guy who filmed it, since both of them had been posting non-stop through the night. 

“we didn’t hook up. we just— we didn’t even kiss. nothing happened, bam.” 

“ _ you sound disappointed _ ,” bambam laughed. and it was true, mark was disappointed. fucking yugyeom had to ruin it. “ _ who is he though? is that your host family’s son _ ?” 

“what? no!” mark exclaimed out loud, “he’s— he’s not, i know him from school… his name is jaebeom, he’s cool. but that’s it—”

“could you please shut up?” mark heard yugyeom’s voice from the next door, the guest room right next to his bedroom. he tilted his head just a bit further around the doorway, seeing him standing in the hallway, the most annoyed look at his face. 

“ _ who’s that— _ ” bambam asked.

but mark didn’t listen, raising an eyebrow at yugyeom. “not like you get anything i say anyways.” 

_ you seem to be talking about jaebeom, that’s enough to make it a bad thing _ , yugyeom wanted to say but he just took a deep breath and smiled, just a bit, just to prove his parents that he is trying — somehow. “whatever,” he said instead, “my parents are about to leave, they said we could watch a movie while they’re gone. but if you’re busy—” 

mark cut him short, returning his smile. “i’m not busy,” he answered, in a way that made it difficult for yugyeom to take his words back and forget the whole thing altogether.

it was just too bad. yugyeom really had hoped that mark would decline, that he would rather want to talk to whoever the fuck he was talking to instead of watching a movie together. 

“bam should go to sleep anyways, it’s like four am over there so…” mark trailed off, glancing up at yugyeom again, who hadn’t moved. “i’ll be joining you in a minute?” 

_ bam. weird name _ , yugyeom thought,  _ but it's mark’s friend so he probably is weird.  _

“yeah, fine,” yugyeom replied, rather unimpressed and followed the steps down towards the living room, where his parents were about to leave. they said something along the lines of  _ be nice _ or  _ take good care of mark _ but it left him only rolling his eyes. “sure, will do.” 

mark barely took another minute to head downstairs too, just catching a glimpse of yugyeom waving his parents goodbye before the door fell shut and their gazes met. 

“so…” yugyeom said awkwardly, shifting a bit from one foot to the other before stepping closer, “are you hungry or something?” 

“i want to have ramen and go.” 

yugyeom choked. “you— what?” 

a high pitched laugh came from mark, his hand clasping over his mouth just a bit too hide the extent of his big smile. 

(yugyeom hadn't heard mark laughing like that so far, not even jaebeom had made him laugh that hard. not like he cared but that was definitely a win for him.) 

“do you even know what this means?” he asked, still a bit taken aback from mark’s words, his face flushed and hot. 

mark still giggled, following yugyeom to their cooking space. “sure, was in the same unit as the swear words.” yugyeom huffed out a laugh, mark was such an idiot. “i was joking again. but i really wouldn't mind some ramen, i am starving and still hung over from last night.” 

that statement left yugyeom groaning a bit. he tried his best not to think about the aching pain in his limbs and his still throbbing temples. mark was right about him barely going out or drinking alcohol. and  _ of course _ yugyeom had to feel even worse than he already felt — not like the anger and embarrassment were enough to deal with already. 

“sounds good.” and mark felt like this was the first time that yugyeom actually approved of what he said. 

yugyeom looked through their cupboards, finding some cups of shin ramen for which yugyeom boiled some water while mark was pretty much just skipping through some magazines on the dining table next door. 

“what are you doing?” yugyeom stepped through the doorway, raising an eyebrow at the way how mark was so interested in some of his mother's gardening magazines. he didn't wait for an answer though, just offering, “you could go choose a movie already, i don't mind anything really.” 

mark's face lit up and he followed the taller male towards the selection of movies they had. “if you don't like any of those, we can also—” 

“it's fine, don't worry,” mark cut yugyeom off excitedly, his eyes scanning all the foreign titles, looking for something familiar. 

yugyeom just watched him for a moment, a brief smile crossing his lips at mark’s almost childish giddiness, before returning to the kitchen to check on the ramen. it wasn’t as if he  _ wanted _ to watch a movie with mark or anything. not really. but there was still a weird feeling in his chest when he thought about sitting a little too close to the american boy, or the way mark held his hand yesterday. 

it was stupid, because there wasn’t anything between them.

“i chose a movie!” mark announced from the living room. “i’m putting it on so you can’t argue with me over it.”

“whatever,” yugyeom called back, like he didn’t really care (even though he clearly did). he finished up the ramen and brought the pan into the living room to set down on the coffee table. mark grabbed them both a set of chopsticks from the drawer, and they settled down to watch the film.

  
  


☂

  
  
  


it was…  _ nice _ . yugyeom hadn’t expected it to be this nice to just  _ be with _ mark, without the bickering, without any of the awkward tension that had built up between them over the last week. but for some reason it felt too domestic — as if they would do this if they had their own apartment together, and it was a saturday night after a busy week. as if they were… dating, or something. it didn’t feel like a movie night between friends, and that filled yugyeom with a terrifying sense of uncertainty.

“i bet you’d rather be doing this with jaebeom,” he muttered under his breath. they were on their second pan of ramen, and the movie was coming to an end, but he had to go and ruin everything with one stupid remark.

mark stopped eating, his next mouthful of ramen suspended over the pan. "what  _ is  _ this with you and jaebeom?" he demanded.

yugyeom raised an eyebrow, feeling incredibly defensive all of a sudden. "with me and— isn't it  _ you  _ and jaebeom instead?" 

"you don't like him." mark cast him a very serious sort of sideways glance, trying to judge yugyeom’s thoughts from his expression alone.

"he doesn’t like me either,” yugyeom stated, his voice taking on a blunt, dismissive tone. it wasn’t his problem. jaebeom didn’t have to like him. and he didn’t have to like jaebeom.

mark sighed and dumped his ramen back in the pan. "is it because of me?" 

yugyeom couldn't hold back a laugh. "bullsh—" 

"stop that attitude, yugyeom. not everything is bullshit." mark almost sounded…  _ hurt _ . maybe it was because of yugyeom’s tendency to want to brush serious issues under the carpet all the time. it turned quiet for a brief moment before mark spoke up again. "so?" 

yugyeom exhaled heavily as he struggled to express himself. "it's not that i like you or something—" 

"of course not." 

"i just don't get why you two are so... all over each other," he worded his thoughts, a tiny glimpse of jealousy in it, a hint to the unspoken  _ why him and not me _ but mark wouldn't tease him about that. 

mark thought about a proper answer for a while. "mh," he hummed before looking at the boy again, "well he's pretty cute. and he is funny too. i guess... i just enjoy being around him." 

"but you two almost kissed—" 

"yugyeom, i'm gay," mark cut him short, "of course i'd kiss an attractive dude when he obviously wants it too." 

yugyeom's face turned warm. yeah, he knew that mark liked boys, it was pretty obvious but hearing it like that —  _ yugyeom, i'm gay _ — that hit different. 

he didn't mind mark being gay at all since he was still confused about his own sexuality, but knowing that  _ being gay _ or anything else than heterosexual was a bit... despicable in south korea made him quite cautious. 

"as if you wouldn't make out with a pretty girl. or boy. or whatever—" 

"i'm not gay." 

mark looked at him. "didn't say you were. just, you know, you can make out with whoever you want. despite being heterosexual or gay or just... curious." 

silence. 

"with me, for example." 

yugyeom stared at mark for a minute, no subtle stares, his eyes glued to the other boys lips, then his eyes again, looking for that mischief in it but he couldn't find it. 

mark was serious about this. just as serious as he was about holding hands last night. 

yugyeom didn't know why he did it (since he didn't even like the blonde boy with the delicate features and the pretty smile) but he leaned in, reaching for the plush lips in front of him. 

the first kiss sent a tingle down yugyeom's spine, having him slowly backing off after the slight contact between their mouths. but mark was quick in chasing his lips, wrapping one of his warm hands around yugyeom's neck to keep him in place. 

with the second and the third kiss mark pressed hastily onto his mouth he started tasting the older. 

his taste was somehow sweet with something dark and smoky far off, rough, almost raw. the taste reminding him of the scent of cigarettes.

they parted, staring at each other for a few long moments. "if that is what jaebeom missed out on—" 

"stop talking about jaebeom," mark interrupted and leaned in again, his lips now at it with more force, more want. 

and yugyeom gave in to it, just a little too over excited for mark to not notice how inexperienced he actually was. his mouth following mark’s instructions rather sloppy, being a bit overwhelmed when mark parted his lips under his mouth, his tongue slowly circling at the seam of his bottom lip. 

"wait— i"

mark raised an eyebrow at him. too-cold-to-care-yugyeom just asked him to stop. "what is it? don’t tell me you have never made out before." 

but the younger only rolled his eyes, annoyed at the knowing smirk on the others face. as if it was a major crime. 

"fuck off. i bet you suck at it too." 

"i do  _ not _ ," he said, giggling a bit as he pecked his lips once again. "you wanna find out?" 

and even though yugyeom still hated mark tuan and his dumb smile on his dumb face, he nodded. 

he enjoyed it when mark leaned in again and their lips moved together in a delicate friction. it was a slow kiss, their lips barely parting and their hands still awkwardly somewhere in their laps except for mark still holding onto yugyeom's neck. 

at first it was mark dominating the kiss, it was him coaxing yugyeom's lips open and twirling their tongues together. it was him grabbing yugyeom's wrists and wrapping them around his waist and it was him crawling closer to the younger. 

just until it clicked for yugyeom. how this was so easy and not even a bit scary as he had thought. how mark was lying so willingly in his arms, waiting for him to take over and press his tiny body against his chest and kiss his lips until they're swollen and sensitive to the touch. 

it took him a few minutes of making out with mark to get together all his courage and wrap his hands around mark's hips and butt to lift him from the blue fabric of the couch and into his lap. 

mark squeaked against yugyeom's lips, his fingers moving from around yugyeom's neck into his hair, tangling up in there and pulling him closer. 

their lips met again with a force that made mark dizzy, his heart beating like crazy against his chest, excited for every little touch that yugyeom were about to give him. 

he felt him. mark could feel every inch of yugyeom, every beat of his heart and every breath and his pulse throbbing where his fingers graced his neck before slipping down his chest to the hem of his shirt. mark needed to touch, to feel, he wanted to know what was hidden there under the black fabric. that's when he pushed the younger’s shirt up to his chest, leaning back a bit to stare down at the milky white skin and the slight muscles tensing and relaxing in his abdomen with every breath he took. 

_ you're cute _ , mark wanted to say, but the words felt so heavy on his lips that he swallowed them down, only pushing the fabric of yugyeom's shirt further up until the boy would give in and take it off. 

mark took a deep breath, almost as if he said  _ hold on, give me a minute _ . 

yugyeom definitely needed that break too, comprehending what had happened so far. it was the first time for yugyeom having someone that close and touching someone in places that intimate that it made him breathless, he was so overwhelmed and felt so hot and his whole body was tingly. not to mention his lower parts… 

only a few moments later mark was all at it again, reaching out to mess up yugyeom’s lips and hair only more only for him to turn his face just a tiny bit away from him. "please, give me one more minute," he whispered, sighing as he felt mark’s lips on his cheek and jaw, feeling his nod against his skin. 

he didn’t reply, only started to travel down his neck and pepper his collarbones and his chest with soft little kisses. his fingers eager to explore yugyeom’s body, slowly tracing down his happy trail to the elastics of his sweatpants, pulling them back to catch just the tiniest glimpse of yugyeom’s underwear. 

it was a red pair of boxer briefs, tight enough for mark to see the effect he had on the younger. he giggled just a bit before letting go of the pants and watching them pull back with a light  _ slap _ sound. 

yugyeom jolted a bit at the sudden action and watched mark’s every motion to make sure he won’t come up with further surprises. 

but he was wrong, no matter if he kept staring or not, mark would do as he pleased and yugyeom realised exactly that when he felt the tight feeling of mark’s lips sucking right under his left collarbone. it was a groan slipping past his lips as he let his head fall back and his hips push upwards just a bit at the feeling of mark tuan leaving a hickey on his skin. 

it was a good thought to yugyeom, having something to remember that this had happened, that this wasn’t in his head or a dream or whatever. this was real. everything about it was real.

from the hand in mark’s hair to the boner in his pants, everything was real and oh so wrong and lewd. but why would they care? 

when the blonde male pulled back, eyeing up the purplish red mark in yugyeom’s chest, he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. 

yugyeom followed his gaze, at least he tried to, only catching the slightest bit of the mark. for a moment he thought about the urge to get revenge, to just lean in and bruise mark’s porcelain skin just as he had done it but that moment passed with him just staring at the neck that was just inches away. 

another thought crossing his mind was to get this bruise tattooed on his skin, something to always remember mark tuan, maybe the best moments he got to share with him before he would leave for good and they would probably never see again. 

this thought got his heart aching a bit, his mind spinning around but mark’s fingers brushing over his cheeks, the sweet smile on his lips and the messed up bangs in his eyes pulled him back. "you okay? we can stop, you know?" 

but yugyeom was too far off to think about anything but mark and how good mark tasted to him and how soft his skin felt, so he shook his head and pulled mark back into another embrace. 

the next thing that happened felt like it happened in slow motion. it was only when their lips had crushed together again now easily finding a steady rhythm and the fights for dominance long forgotten. 

(as soon as yugyeom had started to enjoy himself, he had stopped worrying about what could go wrong and rather enjoyed all the things that went so perfectly fine. and so he had taken over, leaving mark sighing into his mouth, obviously enjoying himself even more.) 

yugyeom wasn’t sure if mark had done it on purpose but he knew that the sound leaving his own throat was definitely too loud to be denied. it was too airy to be a moan but too low to be a whine and according to mark’s flushed face it was definitely not what he expected. 

"do that again, please," yugyeom whispered against the plump lips, his breath caught in his lungs as he felt mark humping against him once more. "fuck—" 

mark stared at the younger again, his lower lip held tight in between his teeth before yugyeom brushed gently over it. "yugyeom," he mumbled breathless against the warm skin of yugyeom’s finger before being pulled in for another kiss again. it was yugyeom now biting mark’s lip, nibbling on it until he heard the same filthy sound escaping the older male. 

they stopped, at least for a moment, only shared another few heated kisses just to miss the delicate friction between them and soon found themselves moving against each other in a steady rhythm. it was when they started moaning and gasping into each other's mouth whenever they broke the contact of their lips so they could desperately chase it again moments after. 

yugyeom’s hands supported mark’s hips when he rolled them against the younger, held onto the soft flesh of his butt and pressed his face into the crook of his neck. 

the older on top had his arms tightly wrapped around yugyeom’s head and fingers tangled up again in the soft strands of hair, his lips softly pressing kisses to yugyeom’s forehead. 

their rhythm went quicker and slowed down again, the moans and pants got louder before turning quiet, their gripping on each other being harder before loosening up. it felt so good and right and dirty and intimate that none of them want to miss one bit of it. 

with another harder thrust up mark felt yugyeom's hips stutter and his grip tightening. he was pressed down into yugyeom's crotch with such force that it almost hurt. 

if it weren't for the way the younger twitched underneath his buttock, the way he was throbbing and his eyes closed shut a little too hard and his breath being a bit too much of a breathless whine. 

his cheeks and neck were painted dark crimson, the embarrassment and arousal so present that mark felt like it could slap him in the face. 

"i—" yugyeom breathed out after a few moments of staring blank at mark and his messed up hair and kissable pink lips, red and swollen from their heated make out session. "i just—" 

mark shushed him with a quick peck, not really backing off afterwards. "it's okay. it happens." a smirk spreading on his face. "i don't mind it." 

he pressed a few more open mouth kisses to the pretty lips, biting and sucking on it just a bit more to have the younger go crazy. 

"are you— close too?" yugyeom asked in between the soft pecks they shared whenever they were gasping for air. 

mark shook his head just a tiny bit. "no, i'm not. but that's... it's not because of you. i liked it." 

"no, no it's okay, i understand" yugyeom's expression shifted a bit, a disappointed look in his eyes. 

mark pressed him back to the sofa, his shoulders hitting against the soft cushions in his back. "stop sulking," he whispered, already back at chasing yugyeom's lips, "next time." 

and this was a promise, at least that's what yugyeom wanted it to be. 

their lips were about to start their steady dance again, involving the soft hands caressing through hair and over skin along with their tongues making it all just hotter and more intimate than it already was, when they heard two car doors falling shut and the quiet chatters of yugyeom's parents. 

"shit—" the younger exclaimed, helping mark up and out of his lap before sitting back down a few inches away from yugyeom, a blanket wrapped around his lower body and a cushion pressed down into his abdomen. 

yugyeom scanned the floor for his shirt, sighing a bit too loud when he found it and dressed himself again before he also cuddled back into the dark blue fabric. 

both of them kept staring at the tv, the movie almost over but they didn't care about whatever scene was playing anyways. 

the key turned in the lock and the door opened slowly, two pairs of eyes finding them quickly after. "we're back! did you guys have a fun time?" yugyeom's mom asked with a pretty smile on her painted lips. 

_ fun time _ — 

"yeah we did," mark replied and got up, bowing a bit before fake yawning, "but i'm pretty tired now, i'll head to bed. thanks, goodnight mr and mrs kim, goodnight yugyeom." mark didn't wait for an answer, he just ran off to his room. 

yugyeom hesitated, wanting nothing more than to flee the situation than try and act normal around his parents. he had barely moved from where he was sitting, still high-strung and hard, his thoughts running a mile a minute and his head whirling with emotion.

“mark is a sweet boy,” his mother commented after taking off her shoes. “how was the film, yugyeommie?”

yugyeom couldn’t remember the film. he  _ had _ watched most of it — actually, it was probably something he’d seen before — but in the heat of the moment he couldn’t recall a single thing that had happened. “uh… it was okay,” he said, nodding. it was the safest response to give. "guess i take a quick shower and head to bed too,” he added quickly, heart still racing. “i feel a bit—" 

_ sticky.  _

“—sweaty,” he finished, managing to find the right word despite the fiery heat spreading throughout his body. “don't want my bed to smell like a locker room." he gave a weak smile before following mark’s lead and making a quick exit from the living room. when he reached the top of the stairs, mark was standing in his doorway with a smile. 

"hey,” he mumbled, fumbling with one of his bracelets. “just— wanted to wish you a proper goodnight. sleep well…”

" _ goodnight _ ," yugyeom said with a smile, his voice just a bit softer due to the foreign language he was speaking in. 

the smile on mark's lips grew just a bit wider. "goodnight, yugyeom..." 

they shared another few moments filled with intense stares and unspoken but  _ oh so filthy _ thoughts. 

"wait," mark said, as yugyeom wanted to go into his room, holding onto his arm for a moment. he wanted to ask him if he could stay the night, if he could hug him for the night, hold him, kiss him (maybe there was a far off want in getting off too). 

yugyeom's lips looked so terribly inviting, so plush and warm and red from the heated make out session, and his hair was so messed up from his fingers before and his neck— god, the thought of there being mark's hickey hidden under the fabric got him twitching in his pants. it was a miracle he’d managed to escape his parents without them noticing anything.

"i just—" mark whispered in a lower voice, the words slowly slipping off his tongue, "i enjoyed tonight a lot. i kinda… you’re kinda cool, i guess.”

he expected yugyeom to scoff at that, maybe throw back a half-hearted insult, but yugyeom didn’t say anything. he just stared at him, as if there was a lot on his mind that he couldn’t say out loud. mark’s grip on yugyeom’s sleeve faltered as he tried to guess what he was thinking. yugyeom looked away.

“we could… do this again,” mark said in a low tone, taking a step closer, “if you wanted.”

he brought a hand up to trace yugyeom’s jaw and stood on his tip-toes to lean in and meet yugyeom’s lips with his own once more. but mark clearly wasn’t reading any of the signs right because the moment he drew closer, yugyeom pushed him away, scrambling out of his grasp. 

“don’t,” he said sharply. “just… just leave me alone, okay?”

and with no further explanation, yugyeom disappeared into his room and slammed the door in mark’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the make out scene was all @defsprince, so all credit goes there aha --johnnys  
> (we're having a lot of fun writing this together lol, hope you're enjoying the ride too)


	5. truth or dare

mark liked youngjae. 

he liked the way he was always bright and funny and he liked how he could tease yugyeom in all those little ways. mark liked that youngjae always hummed to some bruno mars songs whenever he and yugyeom weren't complaining and bickering about each other’s preferences and habits. 

youngjae overall was a ray of sunshine and mark enjoyed the way he made him feel warm and always made him crack a laugh no matter how exhausted he was from his day with yugyeom. 

judging from the few bus rides to school and back home, he'd decided he definitely liked youngjae a lot.

but it was monday morning and mark had barely been able to get sleep ever since…  _ that _ happened between him and yugyeom so youngjae’s loud voice did just stir up his rising headache. 

“seriously youngjae, shut up,” yugyeom growled, obviously not in the mood to keep up their usual messing around with each other. 

youngjae shot a gaze at mark, wanting him to join in on firing back but seeing mark's tired eyes and somehow sad expression made him fall silent. 

“shit, trouble in paradise, huh?” 

mark rolled his eyes just a tiny bit at that.  _ what paradise _ , he wanted to ask but knowing that it would be a lie, he rather looked out of the window. 

there was a paradise, just for the glimpse of a moment when he had laid in yugyeom’s arms and his heart had beaten so heavy that it hurt. but that paradise had been long forgotten the moment yugyeom slammed his door in mark's face and, bluntly spoken, broke his heart. 

it was raining again just as it had the day mark had arrived. the heavy drops slammed against the windows, making mark shiver a bit. he was cold, he was always cold, missing the warmth of the youngers big hands around his own small ones. 

he missed yugyeom so very much it pained him. and it was so stupid.  _ bullshit _ , yugyeom would say, it was all always bullshit. and he might be right this time, everything between them might not be more than  _ bullshit _ .

"seriously, though," said youngjae, ignoring the way the other two seemed to groan every time he opened his mouth, "i find the dynamic between you two so interesting. like, one minute you're fighting, and the next i'm convinced there's something else going on. it's like watching a real-life sitcom right in front of my eyes."

mark just bit his lip and watched the passing traffic through the window as they neared the school. 

"you know," youngjae went on, getting a little carried away with his own train of thought, "i used to think — oh, gyeom over there is just an asshole who hates you because you're cuter than him — but i'm actually—"

"he's not cuter than me," yugyeom objected, throwing his next-door neighbour a glare. 

that was actually a lie. yugyeom thought mark was a lot cuter than him, but he would never admit that. youngjae already thought he knew everything about everyone, and yugyeom didn't need to boost his ego any higher than it already was.

youngjae raised an eyebrow at him. "anyway, as i was saying—"

"is this our stop?" mark interrupted. the bus pulled up outside the school and he joined the crush of students to step down onto the pavement. 

the whole situation with yugyeom right now was a bit hit-or-miss, and mark couldn't deal with youngjae's interrogation getting any deeper than it already had. instead, he waved goodbye to him through the long bus windows, and shuffled along with the crowd through the school gates. 

"hey, mark!" 

yugyeom groaned. he hated that sweet tone jaebeom used every time he talked to mark. 

“jaebeom,” mark smiled back at him, “good morning.” 

and mark matching it was even worse. god, they were like two sappy leads from a rom-com and it made yugyeom want to vomit. maybe that was because it made him feel like a third wheel in a relationship that wasn't even a  _ thing _ yet, which gave him serious second male lead syndrome.

"how was your weekend?" jaebeom asked as he caught up with them, slipping an arm around mark's waist.

" _ how was your weekend _ ," yugyeom muttered under his breath in the most pathetic imitation of jaebeom he could muster. 

mark hesitated. "it was... good," he said, keeping his answer incredibly vague.

yugyeom glared at them. he hadn't failed to pick up on the way jaebeom had thrown himself at mark the moment he arrived, or the way he seemed to hold him like he  _ owned _ him. who did he think he was? yugyeom glanced over his shoulder and his frown only deepened when he saw jaebeom's private car driving away.

"good," jaebeom echoed him with a smile. "hey, we could hang out this week, if you're not too busy."

mark nodded, melting a little into jaebeom's touch. it was obvious how much he craved the attention, or at least that's how yugyeom interpreted it. "okay," mark agreed, "sounds cool. what were you thinking of doing?"

yugyeom scowled, watching the two of them from where he walked behind them several paces.  _ he's probably thinking about doing you, stupid _ . he suddenly pictured jaebeom bending mark over any available surface and—  _ god _ , he had to get that image out of his head. 

for a split second, he wanted to blurt out how  _ he _ was the one who got to kiss mark and not jaebeom, and how mark would much rather hold hands with  _ him _ . but the words sounded pathetic in his own ears. 

in that very moment he felt like presenting the bruise in his skin, pointing out how it was  _ him  _ and not jaebeom, he wanted to point out how  _ he _ had gotten off to mark and not jaebeom— well okay, he probably should leave  _ that _ out. but it still seemed pathetic to him. probably even more now. 

also, how did he even know that mark wouldn’t do the same with jaebeom if he had the chance to? 

"maybe bowling?" jaebeom suggested.

mark laughed. "i'm rubbish at bowling."

_ maybe bowling _ . yugyeom felt himself pout at the mere idea of bowling. he was good at bowling. he could hold mark from behind and guide him to the perfect strike. 

jaebeom just shrugged. "well, whatever you feel like doing, i guess," he said. "jackson's having a party at his place on saturday, though, if you're free."

"am i invited?" mark asked coyly.

"of course. you're my guest."

yugyeom gritted his teeth, infuriated. mark wasn't jaebeom's  _ anything _ . but, then again, he wasn't yugyeom's anything either.

"oh, and yugyeom can come too, if he's up for that kind of thing."

  
  


☂

  
  


yugyeom had never really thought that the words  _ kim yugyeom got a hickey on his chest _ would have such a big impact on him (not to mention that he hadn't really expected this to happen anytime soon, that with his track record for remaining single). 

but here they were, in the locker room at school just two days after he and mark had made out on his sofa with at least ten pairs of eyes on the blooming bruise in his skin. 

“never knew you had a girlfriend,” jackson said, giving yugyeom a slight hit on his back. 

(it was weird, they weren't friends really but ever since mark  _ made him _ hang out with the cool kids people seemed to notice yugyeom…  _ differently _ . they wanted to talk to him, sit with him even, which hadn't happened since fifth grade.) 

“you can bring her to my party this saturday,” he continued, flashing yugyeom a bright smile, “jaebeom told you about it, right? he said you wouldn't join but it would be too bad. we didn't hear you sing last friday—” 

“i'm not singing.” 

jackson just laughed, like yugyeom's refusal was nothing but a challenge to him. "whatever you say," he said with a grin, "but you'll be there, right? i need more girls at my party."

next to them, jinyoung shut his locker door and put his glasses back on. "you don't have to invite him to everything just because you want to invite mark," he said to jackson, rolling his eyes. turning to yugyeom, he added, "if you don't want to go, just don't show up. that's what i always do."

"hey!" jackson stared at jinyoung, mouth agape. "you told me your dog was sick last time."

jinyoung just scoffed in idle amusement. "jack, i don't  _ have _ a dog, remember?"

jackson frowned, because he generally always took jinyoung's words at face value. "that's so mean," he said in disbelief. "you lied to me… about your dog."

he threw an arm around jinyoung's shoulders, and then managed to catch him in a headlock. yugyeom watched and resisted the urge to sigh too loudly.

"jackson, fuck off," jinyoung wheezed as he clawed at jackson's arm. "i'm sorry i lied, okay?"

"you'd better be at my party," jackson warned, "or…"

jinyoung hid a smirk. "or what?"

jackson tried hard to think of a good enough threat. "or you can't come to the golf club anymore," he said finally with a resolute nod. "and you can't use my platinum membership for the pool there."

_ shit _ , yugyeom marvelled. jaebeom's friends sure were rich.

"i don't give a fuck about  _ golf _ , jack—"

"i won't be your friend anymore!" jackson's voice went up several octaves as his grip tightened.

jinyoung finally gave up, tapping jackson's arm like he'd just lost a wrestling match. it felt like this sort of thing happened a lot between them. "alright, time out!" he said, managing to wriggle free as jackson let him go. "i'll come to your fucking party."

"good," said jackson with a smile. then he turned to yugyeom. "and you'll come too, right?"

yugyeom blinked. he didn't fancy suffering the same fate as jinyoung, so he nodded. "uh… sure," he said.

the more he thought about it, going to jackson's party didn't seem like a terrible idea — not if mark would be there. okay, he may have told mark to essentially  _ fuck off _ on saturday night, but that was reasonable, right? saturday night had been… a lot. still, yugyeom had developed a weird obsession with mark tuan, and he couldn't stop himself from thinking about him, or wanting to be closer to him all the time.

the only problem was, when mark got close, yugyeom got nervous.

"i knew you'd say yes!" jackson beamed at him, slapping him on the back again. "you know, everyone thought you were super lame, dude. but actually, you're a pretty chill guy."

"...thanks."

"hurry up, jack, we've got physics," jinyoung said, and the two of them left the locker room before yugyeom could fully process the wave of confidence that jackson's words gave him.

nobody had ever called him  _ chill _ before. 

yugyeom tried not to smile too hard, or really smile at all, as he pulled his school shirt back on to cover up the fading mess that mark had made of him. 

by the time he got back to class, the compliment had worn off and yugyeom was thinking about mark again. he couldn't help but imagine how much fun they would have if they went bowling together. probably a lot more fun than mark would have with jaebeom. he spotted mark at his usual seat and crossed the room to approach him, resolving to at least ask.

"hey."

mark recognised the voice, and it made his eyes narrow with a mixture of irritation and disappointment. "what do you want?" he asked, continuing to gaze out of the classroom window.

yugyeom paused, staring at the way the sunlight fell on the golden streaks in mark's pale hair. "we could go bowling," he said suddenly.

yeah, it wasn't exactly the best way to ask, but his brain was a bit limited on brain cells when it came to essentially  _ asking mark out _ . ninety-nine percent of yugyeom's brain function was preoccupied admiring the way the light bounced off mark's skin and made it glow.

mark turned to look up at him. "what?" he scoffed, hardly able to believe yugyeom's nerve. 

"well," yugyeom said, "i'm good at bowling, so—"

" _ jesus, i wish people would drop the whole bowling thing already _ ," mark exclaimed in english, before quickly switching back to korean. "what's your problem, kim yugyeom?" 

the way he said his full name was scary. he sounded a lot like yugyeom's mom, only worse, because he was actually mark. yugyeom couldn't really think of a good response to that question.

“i am actually asking you out,” yugyeom said, what seemed to be the only words coming across his mind right now. 

"i don't understand you," mark went on, lowering his voice to little more than a whisper. 

yugyeom cleared his throat. “i said, i’m asking—”

"no, i got that,” mark said, still giving yugyeom an indistinct gaze, “it’s just— one minute you've got your tongue down my throat, the next you're telling me to fuck off like i'm some kind of gay disease. make up your fucking mind, okay?"

well, that didn’t exactly pan out like yugyeom had planned it. but the worst part was the insecurity that crept into his veins as mark said those words. yugyeom couldn’t help but look over his shoulder, glancing around the classroom to see if anyone was watching them.

“just forget it, okay?” mark said, in a way that sounded like he’d given up. 

“wait—”

“seriously,” mark emphasised, as their teacher swept into the classroom and students quickly began to take their seats, “if it makes you  _ this _ uncomfortable, we’re better off leaving things as they are.”

yugyeom reluctantly went back to his seat and slumped across the desk in a sulk. mark was right, at least partly. everything he felt towards mark put yugyeom well out of his comfort zone, but that didn’t mean he was against pursuing those feelings. it just made him nervous, self-conscious, panicked. and, to an extent, it made him feel guilty. sometimes, when he thought about mark in that way, he felt ashamed.

and he hated that feeling.

  
  
  


☂

  
  
  
  


somehow, by the time saturday rolled around, they were on speaking terms again. on thursday night, mark had stood in the doorway to yugyeom’s room for a full twenty minutes to watch him play overwatch (and lose, for the first time in forever), and they’d had a reasonably pleasant conversation about the biology assignment on the way to school on friday.

and though it seemed like a miracle to yugyeom at this point, they were actually going to jackson’s party together.

“aw, you boys look great,” his mom said, looking up from whatever movie she was watching that evening. yugyeom squinted at the screen. by the looks of things, it was a bollywood film, but he wasn’t about to question his mother’s taste.

“we should get going,” mark spoke up, at the sound of a car engine outside. 

it was less of a miracle and more of a punishment that going to jackson’s party with mark also involved getting picked up in jaebeom’s car — which was a sleek black thing with its own personal chauffeur. the drive over tested yugyeom’s self restraint, because watching jaebeom and mark get cosy on the plush leather seats made him want to punch jaebeom in the face. (or possibly something more violent than that, which would cause significant bodily harm, and a visit to the hospital.)

when they arrived, jackson was already drunk and the party was in full flow. 

“yugyeom, my man!” he yelled, greeting yugyeom with the most suffocating hug he’d ever experienced. “where’s your girlfriend at?”

even when drunk, jackson could remember the things yugyeom wished he would forget about. jinyoung managed to pull him back, shooting yugyeom a knowing look, since jackson was like this  _ all of the time _ . 

“dude, go and get another drink or something,” jaebeom told him, rolling his eyes. he pushed past jackson, hand in hand with mark, as he led the way to the alcohol.

yugyeom felt his stomach sink at the brief glance he got of mark and jaebeom’s intertwined fingers. what was this — payback? he’d thought (and maybe it was a stupid thought) that mark was into  _ him _ , that maybe he had something jaebeom didn’t. 

the longer the party went on, the more yugyeom started to regret coming in the first place. it was like somebody had carefully crafted his own perfect form of torture by forcing him to watch jaebeom and mark get close and intimate all night long. eventually, someone suggested that they play a game, so a group of jackson’s friends sat around to play truth or dare.

and that was all it was — fun and games — until it was mark’s turn.

“i dare you to kiss whoever you want — but you know, a proper kiss.” 

a proper kiss? mark’s lips curled into a smirk. they wanted a  _ show _ . he knew they’d come up with something like that, as if he hadn't kissed a whole lot of boys before at those parties in LA. 

“anyone?” he questioned, and the boy sitting in the chair with that pretty girl in his lap nodded. 

mark felt jaebeom squeeze his hand, but his gaze was elsewhere — across the room where yugyeom stood drinking.  _ kiss whoever he wanted? _ what mark wanted was to pin yugyeom against the wall and kiss him until his knees gave in. but when he looked over, yugyeom was scowling at him like usual. no, he couldn’t do that. even if yugyeom acted like he was into it, mark couldn’t just  _ out him _ like that. not in front of everyone.

but even though yugyeom was still acting weird about everything that had happened between them, mark couldn’t help but stare. his eyes were glued to yugyeom the moment after his question was answered. yugyeom looked gorgeous that night, mark thought, in his skinny jeans and the shirt that hung loosely from his body, hair looking as soft as ever. for a moment, it felt like he had to be with him. to feel that burning sensation he gave him, that addicting feeling. 

the moment that passed felt like a decade, but mark finally tore his eyes away. as much as he wanted it, he couldn’t just throw himself at someone he knew was still so undecided. the way yugyeom had reacted the other night was like a slap to the face, and he hadn’t even apologised. 

yugyeom wasn’t even  _ gay _ , he’d said so himself. and mark felt somehow cheated. he felt hurt, yugyeom had hurt him and mark somehow wanted to hurt him too. even though it was unfair. 

that’s why he slowly shifted in his seat, just a bit to face the black haired male next to him, already flashing mark the pretty smile he always wore around him. jaebeom slowly dragged his fingers away from mark’s to cup his jaw just moments later. 

out of all the stares around them, he felt yugyeom’s practically burning him down, cursing him out, he felt so hot out of sudden. kissing jaebeom suddenly felt like it was the only way getting yugyeom’s attention, it felt so wrong and forbidden and somehow exciting. 

they stared at each other for a brief moment before the older boy leaned in and captured jaebeom’s lips. he almost flinched about how warm jaebeom was, how there was this tingly feeling spreading in his mouth and everywhere else. mark’s hand clasped tightly on the other’s shirt, pulling himself closer to jaebeom’s body, their legs brushing together, rubbing against each other a bit. 

their kisses deepened quickly, jaebeom definitely did know what he was doing, unless yugyeom when he had first kissed mark. but still, mark missed yugyeom and the way he had tasted on his tongue and how he had hold him tight with his huge, strong hands. 

a faint clapping and shouting hit mark’s eardrum, it got louder and louder until he realised that they were still sitting there, the gazes of at least a dozen people on them, yugyeom along them. 

their eyes met again when yugyeom crumpled the can he’d just finished and left the room, unable to erase the lasting image of mark and jaebeom from his brain. 

“shit—” mark mumbled under his breath before getting up and out of jaebeom’s grip with a forced smile, holding their cup in his face. “i’ll get us another drink, alright?” jaebeom just nodded, entangling mark in another quick kiss before he let him go. 

mark’s step were quick as he followed yugyeom through the crowd of people to the back of the house. yugyeom stepped through the doorway towards the backyard. “fucking rich kids,” yugyeom growled to himself as he saw the huge pool and the well maintained flower beds. it was less crowded here, a few people stood in the doorways or around the pool but the further yugyeom passed through the never ending ways along the flowers, the lonelier he got. 

until mark caught up at least. “yugyeom! i— god, i am sorry,” mark blurted out, though he wasn’t really sure what he was sorry for. kissing jaebeom? it wasn’t like he and yugyeom were dating or something, so he actually hadn’t had to feel sorry. but he did. 

“sorry?” yugyeom scoffed. “don’t be sorry. isn’t that exactly what you were talking about though, when you said that  _ i could make out with whoever i want _ . you meant it.” 

but that wasn’t mark’s intention at all. mark had wanted yugyeom to make out with  _ him _ . he had dropped that stupid line to make him less uncertain, less  _ afraid _ of actually being  _ gay _ . 

“no, seriously i didn’t mean it that way. and i didn’t mean to kiss jaebeom—” 

“oh, but you did, i’m pretty sure i  _ saw _ that you just did,” yugyeom cut him short, his voice raising just a bit, “you told me to make up my mind but look at you, going back and forth between me and him. what is this to you? just some— some meaningless fucking around during your dumb exchange?” mark jolted as yugyeom’s voice turned more into a growl, stepping closer until mark was captured against one of the hedgerows. 

mark looked away, eyes stinging with tears. “that’s not— that’s not what this is—”

the laugh of disgust that yugyeom let out was enough to break mark. “oh, really?” he said, shaking his head. “you have no  _ fucking  _ clue what you’re doing to me, mark. you are so pathetic... and it disgusts me. seriously, just fuck off back to america.” 

“you’re a fucking asshole, yugyeom,” mark spat, doing his best to hold himself together. he pushed yugyeom away with a hard shove against his chest, and ran back into the house.

inside, the party was everywhere, and mark had to fight his way through the crowd just to find a single square inch of silence. he took the stairs up to the second floor, nearly tripping halfway up, and stumbled into one of the bathrooms. the door behind him fell shut with a loud thump, his head falling against it before he slid down to the cold tiles as his legs gave up. “fuck,” he groaned, wiping his eyes before reaching instinctively for his cigarettes. the packet fell from his shaking hands.

mark sniffed and fumbled with the pocket of his jacket again to get out his phone and hit his number one speed dial number, which instantly put him through to a call with his best friend. 

bambam’s hair was a mess when he answered the call just seconds later, blinking at the screen a few times to recognise who had called him... and what time it was. he groaned and rolled over after he could make out the blurry letters as ‘mark’. 

“ _mark, bro,_ ” he grumbled, his voice all muffled in his blankets, “ _i love you, really, but it’s too goddamn early…”_

the time difference between LA and seoul was bambam’s biggest enemy when it came to keeping in touch with mark. or at least, keeping in touch at reasonable hours of the day.

“bam…” mark’s voice broke, his eyes were glossy, his hands shaking just a bit too much to keep his phone steady against his ear. 

the younger sat up quickly, the blanket falling into his lap. “ _ are you okay _ ?” he exclaimed too loud, hushing his voice moments after. the other side of the bed rustled, vague words coming from a girl next to bambam, leaving mark feeling bad for a moment to disturb the two of them. 

“nothing is okay,” he mumbled nonetheless, a sob creeping up his throat. “i— everything is so much… too much,” he explained in korean, just mumbling out all the words coming to his mind. 

the rustling kept going as bambam pulled on a shirt and opened the door to his balcony, closing the door again with the slightest fraction of care. “ _ calm down, mark, i don’t understand a word you’re saying _ …” 

“i said that i am fucking done with this, it’s too much,” he repeated his words in english. 

“ _ too much of what? did something happen? with that jaebeom boy? or your host _ —” 

“fuck jaebeom, seriously, because of him— no, because of me... oh i don’t fucking know,” mark blabbered before a couple of tears rolled down his cheeks. “i messed up. i messed up, he hates me now.” 

bambam felt so helpless, he had no clue what was going on in his best friends life right now except for the rough statements mark gave. “ _ god, you have to be more precise for me to understand. what happened _ ?” 

“they chose me to kiss someone for truth or dare and—” mark stopped and ran a hand through his hair before continuing, “jesus, it’s so stupid actually, but i kissed jaebeom and yugyeom got mad and… he’s been mad all along...” 

mark basically vomited out all those words, not taking a breath or pausing, no full stops to be seen. 

“ever since we made out, and then when i let him down as he asked me out — everything has been weird ever since and… and off and he thinks that i actually just mess around with them but i like  _ him _ , you know, but—” 

“ _ take a break, breathe.. _ .” 

“bam, i want to come home…” mark whined and a few silent sobs left his lips, making him shudder through it. 

“ _ i said you should breathe, so shut the fuck up and breathe _ .”

mark swallowed and wiped the tears that still spilled down his cheeks. “happy?” 

“ _ you’re still crying, so... no _ .” 

mark sighed. “i’m not crying… anymore.” 

“ _ yeah, of course _ ,” bambam almost audibly rolled his eyes, even though it wasn’t physically possible, “ _ now, tell me who broke your heart _ ?” 

“it’s—” mark let out a shallow sigh and tried to gather his thoughts— “it’s yugyeom… he— i don't know, he’s mad at me, he told me to fuck off, and he said that i am… that what i’m doing is disgusting and it just  _ hurts _ . i mean, you know i probably should have stopped hanging around jaebeom and i shouldn’t have kissed him but— you know how scared i am of any kind of commitment…”

“ _ yeah, i know, _ ” bambam said carefully.

mark hesitated, heart clenching in his chest. “but with jaebeom…” he went on, “it just felt so  _ easy  _ and i never had to pretend with him, or ask him if he even cares. yugyeom keeps pretending to not care but he does, he clearly does.” mark kept telling bambam about all the things that happened, tears and sobs always making his voice break and stutter. 

“ _ hey, markie, it’s okay. just breathe, yeah? _ ”

“but, you know,” mark said, struggling to get the words out right, “yugyeom makes my heart... beat in a way that i— i don't feel like  _ that _ around jaebeom.” 

it was silent for a brief moment, the rain pattering down outside the open window, the party still going on downstairs. it felt like the sound leaked right up through the bathroom tiles.

“yugyeom makes me feel so... special. i like him, bam.” 

and that was probably the worst part about the whole thing, because mark couldn’t  _ like him _ . even if the feelings were mutual, mark was due to leave in a few weeks and he couldn’t put something like that on yugyeom’s shoulders. he didn’t want this to be a fling.

he wanted it to be real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way this turned into 2 chapters instead of one because we had too many ideas lmao  
> stay tuned for jackson's iconic party pt.2 soon !!  
> (also it's actually so funny that jackson has a party in literally every fic ever but yeah)  
> leave us a comment if you enjoyed! <3333


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